Dunkin' Donuts - Fritalian Commercial

I saw this commercial about a month back and for some reason it really got under my skin. I didn’t think much of it at first because commercials in general now a days blow goats. But at second glance I realized this might not be your every day, run of the mill, (insert cliché about ordinary things here) commercial. No, there is something far worse afoot here than your typical marketing fixation with farm animal fellatio. The commercial undermines the very fabric of which our nation is woven together with. What’s great about America is the cultural differences among our citizens. I take solace in the fact that we have a country whose language, culture, and overall “look” does not consist of one image or race, but several. I know it may appear that I’m looking too far into this and that the commercial was just attempt at humor, not meant to be taken seriously, but let’s break down this commercial.
“My mouth can’t form these words”—meaning this is not my native tongue. “Is it French or is it Italian…perhaps Fritalian”—which I take as a slap in the face to cultural diffusion. Apparently if it’s not English, then we as Red, White, and Blue blooded Americans don’t give “Two Shits” about it. The fact that we are so pompous to just lump in two completely different cultures as if they are the same tells us a little something about how we view the world. Then we have the nerve to get pissed when the rest of the world call us stupid, arrogant, and undignified. Who cares, French, Italian it’s all the same shit right? I mean it’s either American or it’s not. Wrong, what makes America “America” is that we have made an entire culture based on all the different cultures of the world. We are a nation that can have apple pie and wash it down with a cappuccino. We can drink Coca Cola while eating a Taco.
It’s asinine to think that we will one day get back to this original America when everyone spoke English and drank Coors Light. Well, news flash, that America never existed. We have always been a land of immigrants. The Native Americans didn’t speak English and for those of you who still think Columbus discovered America because he had a flag, well I hate to break it to you but he didn’t speak English either. He spoke Italian and probably some form of Spanish considering he was sailing on behalf of the King and Queen of Spain. Not to mention his crew was all Spanish. An America without the integration of different ideas, cultures, and beliefs wouldn’t be the same.
Oh, just one more thing, and I direct this to the high ups at Dunkin Donuts. Last time I checked, “Latte” was not an English word, so how can you say with a straight face that you can come to DD where you order things in English, not Fritalian. That’s the dumbest statement of all. I was never a Starbucks kind of guy, but this commercial actually makes me want to spend $9 for a cup of coffee. Maybe you should stick to those Rachael Ray commercials instead of… actually on second thought I’d rather see more Fritalian ads.